I think that my long responses to seem melodramatic. I’m not so sure. I am in my own Room 101 right now. I’ve never had a serious injury and was superman and unfortunately the path of what I need to do for “cure” is not clear as I thought. I am the kind who has been reluctant to take aspirin. Yes, heaven forbid I should suffer a devastating injury but this is a life altering event that will require a major time and financial investment that I don’t even have to take care of basic clerical needs. So many other things are hanging on a thread like my job—taking off a week at a time when I REALLY need to generate numbers could result in my being gone faster than you can say ACL. Unfortunately, I really have to move out of my New York City walkup apartment *somewhere* for at least 3 weeks—it is a daunting task at any time of year with good legs. And I still don’t know who will do my surgery, what surgery, and whether I’m not in the “lucky 5%"… Right now I feel like a juggler with a broken arm.

But some of the posts touched on a lot more and was the only way for me to see that I probably need to adjust part of my attitude in general and it’s exacerbated by this injury. While this is horrific, my injury has made me aware of what I need to do for long term success and possible happiness in everything I do. When you live in NY City amongst the most driven and successful people, setbacks like this can feel 10 times more devastating looking up at how much more work you’ll have to do to climb the ladder to reach your peers. This can be a wonderful place to live but I don’t wish the pressure to excel here on anyone. Larry at Bob’s Kneeboard, thank you for putting a lot in perspective. It will take time to integrate but your long post is worth the words over a hundred fold… I liked this comment:

“Some would rather approach the injury, recovery, etc from a negative aspect. Maybe it’s a way of dealing with the possibility of dealing with a failure in the future and so perhaps better to view things from a depressed standpoint. But I believe this is not a way that some view only this experience. I would bet that there are many other issues/concerns at work, personallife that are also viewed from this point of view and while maybe it works better for some to view things that way, I believe it better to be always looking at the positive in everything.”

Let me remind myself, the relatively well off self-centered jerk (ladies, that’s just me blaming myself for not being appreciative ONLY in this context!) cannot even feel the greater pain of the teenagers I’m reading about who will have to deal with their injury and hope it won’t affect them for a good part of their lives that I was able to go through with two good knees. I mean, seriously Michael, what the hell is wrong with you? You know what it is? When you get away with it all the time and things go your way, the stuff that doesn’t just stings all the more. If your batting average is .350 you are doing well in baseball. If it’s .750 you start believing that you should get a hit practically every time up at bat and the few times you don’t… it must be your fault. You suck. Same here. Given my active lifestyle I should be more grateful for having evaded serious injury. Maybe it will sink in over time…