My knee is not so stable almost 4 weeks later. My PT said today that my large, strong muscular legs will require many, many months of PT and serious working out to recover the muscle after a surgery. The stronger I get, the more I am reluctant to have surgery and affect my life and schedule. I’d prefer not to look like the disproportionate daddy long legs spider. My feeling on surgery, drilling and screwing, has been fear of the increased likelihood of chronic pain, discomfort, and premature arthritis. Maybe I should be happy if I can walk without pain and do some other activities like biking, which can still be exhilirating. I may need the surgery for full knee stability though…

Hopefully my life will change so that my moments would be spent biking with someone rather than finding another basketball or football game to play. It hurts like hell to walk past the ball fields but at least I should be happy that I might be able to walk well, bike, possibly blade near where I used to be, and accept the huge setback of regaining my ability to do these things again and maybe even get my next black belt degree 14 months later than planned since I can still do this. I might be able to participate in those ‘recreational’ games at the age when my peers would do this even though my original thoughts would have still been the game with the younger folk. I’m a few years from 40 and it’s about time I started acting my age and perhaps went after sports that are safer.