Where was I on August 6? I’m a black belt and used to pivoting, turning, twisting and jumping in the air in a circle to kick in the face with the side of my foot 3-4 opponents in succession. I can’t freaking even do one side kick. Worse, I mistakenly jumped and landed on my left leg. That was a laugh. I’m still compensating and not putting weight on it and I ended up collapsing to the floor. Glad there were few people in the gym, lol. No damage but throughout I’d have clicking and clacking here and there in the knee and the occasional tweak from doing next to nothing. This is very, very depressing. And this is BEFORE surgery!!!

I fear I have hit the wall (literally) and realize that PT will be a very, very long haul just to get back to normalcy. I was supposed to go for my next degree black belt and I’ll be lucky just to be able to look like I have agility and not look like an old man in a year’s time. The only thing I’m happy about is that it appears I really don’t have a choice but to have the surgery. I can walk, go up and down stairs and more but there is no question I’ll keep injuring myself if I would opt out of surgery.

I’m going to go crazy. I have an October 21 date but it seems so far off right now. It’s a month just to get myself to a point where I’m worse than I am now. I’m trying to get back in shape and lose the weight I gained from being a sedentary pig and snacking like Rerun of What’s Happening. Don’t now if being in shape before surgery will make a difference. Sorry I’m b--ing but I need to do so right now and I’m still finishing the design of my web site and will do most of it there so as not to depress anyone here… I’m sure others of you have felt this way…